Last year’s 2-0 home win against Swansea became more about Chico Flores’ cheating and less about the three points in the end.

Andy Carroll was sent off for touching Chico’s ponytail before the defender went down holding his face like a little girl.

Fast forward six or seven months and Chico Flores appears to have bottled a return to the Boleyn Ground, instead choosing to ply his trade over in Qatar for a shed load of money. Probably his standard of football anyway and, given the corrupt nature of Qatari football (we all know they bribed FIFA for the World Cup) he’s probably living the dream amongst fellow cheats. Good luck to him.

Anyway, now I’ve got the disappointment of Chico Flores not being at Upton Park tomorrow out of my system (and it is genuine disappointment), I’ll move on to what Swansea fans think about tomorrow’s meeting.

Like us, Garry Monk’s side have been impressive thus far and are just two points behind us in seventh. Wilfried Bony and Gylfi Sigurrdson have been on fire for them and will be the two players we’ll need to keep quiet tomorrow afternoon.

To guage the feeling amongst the Swans supporters, I scanned their message boards to see what they were saying about their trip to good ol’ east London.

What I found wasn’t surprising. They’re mostly confident but wary of being beaten by an “improved Fat Sam team” and they don’t really like Londoners much – one fan claims it’s revolting that we eat jellied eels. So is having sexual relations with sheep, but each to their own.

Anyway, here’s some comments from Swansea fans on and Planet Swans

“Let’s burst wet spams bubble and see fat Sam choking back the tears in his after match interview. Fancy a 1-1 draw for this one though!”

“They eat jellied eels. How revolting is that? Gonna have to educate them pasty style I reckon. We will win 2-1 by the way, with Bony and Siggy scoring.”
Bovi –

“According to the Hammers fans, 99% think they will win , nobody from our side would make their starting XI, we can’t handle Carroll, we don’t have the ability to handle their midfield.”
Al_Bundy – Planet Swans

“Got a feeling their gonna get Monteroed!”
QuakerJack – Planet Swans

“Bartley will have Carroll for breakfast.”
Gundog – Planet Swans

“Our performance last season at West Ham was the worst I’ve seen for years but there may have been off field reasons for that. Andy Carroll murdered us but with a goalkeeper who is better at dealing with crosses and the extra height of Bartley we may be able to nullify him. Incidentally I quite like Sam Allardyce as I find his views honest.”

“I think this is going to be a very stern test. West Ham have been playing some excellent free-flowing stuff, and if they get their noses ahead early our defensive record could take a beating. On the other hand if we can keep it tight into the second half we cold just nick it.”
Shaky – Planet Swans

“We’re for ever bursting bubbles, ‘av’ it Sam ya ****”
PGFWhite –

“Bartley’s height and combative defending should take care of Carol, let’s show the wet spammers how the game should be played. Montero, Wilf and siggy will terrorise their defence, if we play a higher line and press from the front we can keep them restricted to hopeful long balls that will be meat and drink to Fabi and our back line. Let’s hope we take it to them ,not sitting back and looking to hit them on the break.”