As you approach pre-season, thoughts are immediately on what players can be signed on the cheap or whether any top players can be unexpectedly persuaded to join the club – even if it does mean blowing your entire transfer budget and wage budget on just one or two players who, on reflection, haven’t really strengthened the squad.

Scouts are assigned to exotic countries who might be hiding a 15-year-old “wonder kid” or cheap goal scorer, while journalists continue to churn out unfounded rumours of players clubs are supposed to be interested. Many of which you’ve never heard of but, after a quick glance at their statistics and attributes, you submit a bid anyway.

Player searches are filtered to reveal players who are running out of contract within the six months and loan lists are scanned thoroughly to ensure no available player goes unnoticed.

Youth players’ contracts begin to expire and you begin releasing them purely because you have no real intention of giving them a chance in the first team or you would rather free up their wages for the next big-money signing.

Almost every out-of-contract ‘legend’ within the game is offered a contract in the hope that they might just fancy finishing their career with your club. Absolutely every out-of-contract player that leaves a Champions League club is also offered a contract. They’re looking for a club, but you’re not playing in Europe. The won’t speak to you. Damn. 

Several of your transfer targets end up signing for league rivals, which means you’re almost forced to settle for second best.

The new season arrives. The transfer window closes. The two loan signings you brought in from an unknown French outfit  rarely make the bench, despite your assistant insisting they’ll make ‘quality signings.’ Your big money signing that took up most of your budget got injured in pre-season and will miss the next six weeks. The 17-year-old wonder kid you bought from a top-four club for £2million isn’t even playing for the reserves and is already asking to be loaned out. Oh, and you’ve just noticed that the youth player you released at the beginning of the summer is banging in the goals for his new side.

The above is not just an account of playing Football Manager is like for me, it’s also the kind of thing we appear to be witnessing at West Ham this summer. Sam Allardyce appears to be playing a real life Football Manager game.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. Mainly because Big Sam an experienced managerial veteran who knows exactly what it takes to keep a side in the Premier League, while I’m a 24-year-old writer who can never be bothered to take the time to really work out whether a player can improve my squad on FM, nor do I ever keep an eye on the finances available to me.

However, there are some similarities to be made here. Take Ambrosini, for instance. Was he really going to sign for West Ham when there were always going to be better offers on the table? No. But we thought we’d throw ourselves in the hat anyway.

Jefferson Montero. Probably one of the players FM’s journalists linked us with. Big Sam liked the look of him at first glance and placed a bid. Whether this one does materialise in the real world remains to be seen, while the exact same can be said about Duvan Zapata. Who!?

Stewart Downing, the most recent player the press have linked with a move to West Ham, has been confirmed by Neil McDonald as just “paper talk.” So don’t be surprised if a bid is now made for the Liverpool winger, just because we can.

Andy Carroll. The big money signing. Trouble is that he’s already injured and he’ll probably miss the first few games of the season. Good start, eh!?

Robert Hall. The ‘Hot Prospect’ who has been released and will no doubt go on and become a star with Bolton Wanderers. I can just imagine Big Sam saying in a year’s time: “Well, my scouts said he probably would’t surpass two-and-a-half stars of full potential, so I thought I’d let him go.”

How about our supposed move for James Milner. One of those signings that you normally go for after putting two-and-two together when playing FM. “He’s rarely playing, I can give him first team football, both parties will be happy. Ah, but how do I afford his wages?”

Ravel Morrison. Yes, he signed a couple of transfer windows ago but, despite his ‘wonder kid’ status, is not being given a real chance. Although it appears Allardyce might be ready give him some first-team football. His potential must have increased by a couple of stars, then.

Wilfried Bony. Not quite a blind-target, but one that was a bit ambitious and had a chance of happening. However, the transfer fee and wage budget probably scuppered the deal and he’ll now go and score a few against us next season with Swansea City. Happy days.

This is, in no way, a dig at Sam Allardyce’s transfer policy. It isn’t a jab at the way our pre-season has turned out so far. After all, the arrival of Razvan Rat and Adrian already seem to be decent signings and they will strengthen the squad. I have every faith in Allardyce and his managerial skills. After all, he’s achieved so much in the two seasons he’s had at the club and has worked wonders in taking us back in to the Premier League and he will, without doubt, keep us there.

However, any true Football Manager player will relate to the similarities between West Ham’s transfer activity this summer and their current Football Manager game.

Whether that’s credit to the game for being so realistic or not is another story all together. All I know is that the players really shouldn’t have introduced Allardyce to FM handheld while on that mid-season training camp last season.